December 7

Let Go

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In this episode of Unique Careers, Unique Lives I take the microphone and talk about one gift of being unfulfilled at work: the ability to let go.

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Episode Text

You have been working on this job for so many years.

Yes you have been!

And you have been unfulfilled for so many years.

Now it time to let go!

It is time to let go of what you know.

-You know this work.
-You know how it feels to do this work.
-You know this suffering.

This is the place of knowing.
It is familiar.
It is not good. But it is familiar.

The other side?
Unknown.
Unclear.
Not possible to see.

You can only see what is possible when you let go. 

Can you let go?

How many years have you been in this space of unfulfillment?

You stayed because you could not let go. 

You are not alone my friend.

We all have the same inclination to choose familiar over unknown. It is our survival brain’s work. Survival brain hates the unknown. It is danger!

Whereas known suffering is okay because it is tested and approved. Our system approved that we could survive this pain. Yes this situation we are in might suck, but hey!, we are breathing ain’t we?

That is the talk of your lizard brain. 

But you have the capacity to be with what is, you have the capacity to learn and to adapt. The learning and adaptation happens through getting out of the known territory to the unknown.

The first step is letting go of where you were so you can go forward.

If you want to explore a city, you cannot fix one foot on the floor and stretch outwards. You have to move both feet. It is the same with life. To be on the move, to navigate in life, to be immersed in it, receive its gifts, uncover our potential and share our gifts with the world,  we need to constantly let go of our past states.

The world is in constant movement. Snow melts and becomes water, water joins the river, river flows and connects to a lake. Lake water evaporates and forms clouds and then it rains and snows. We in our nature are also continuously in flow unless we forcefully stop it.

We forcefully hold on to where we are at.

Holding on almost always leads to suffering because it is impossible to keep things from changing. People we interact change. Companies change. World changes. Financial circumstances change. There are pandemics, accidents, good fortunes, mistakes, earthquakes, falling in love, devaluation, automation, technical advancements, financial crisis, murders, human right movements, births, deaths, fads….

We run here and there to stop the wheel from turning. But the more we move the more the wheel turns. Instead we could relax and just swing with its subtle movements. Sometimes we might even fall and get back up. We can relax and enjoy the ride. Many of us keep on trying to stop the wheel relentlessly and lead lives of anxiety.

But you…
You are special.

You’ve got this opportunity to see that you cannot hold on to what you have.

This unfulfilment in your job was the gift to teach you to let go.

Your first practice will be letting go of what you should be doing - probably staying in a job you don’t like because …….(fill in the blank yourself.)

The second step will be letting go of the worst case scenarios. You are very creative to think of everything that can  go wrong. And they might. But so many things can go right. And they might go very right.  Let go of clinging to one scenario to open up to all possibilities.

Third step and a step you will always take will be letting go of  your self judgement: this idea that you are not good enough. This idea can show itself in various ways. You are not young enough to make a change. Let go. You are not experienced enough to apply for this job. Let go. You don't have enough training to pursue this new path, let go. You don't know enough people, let go. You think you found your passion but your work sucks, let go.

If you want to start something new, you need to let go of the old.
If you want to develop yourself, you need to let go of your self judgement.

Now that you are in this new journey, it is very likely that you will discover new exciting paths that you did not allow yourself to pursue for whatever reason. And most probably when you start walking in this new direction, in this new work field, your skills and experience will be very limited. But your taste will already be good because you are interested in it, you have a certain taste, a certain standard. The difference between your standards and what you deliver will be high in the beginning but the gap will close the longer you walk in this new direction, the more you practice in this new job field. To be able to walk, you will need to constantly let go of your self judgement and bring yourself back to practice. That letting go of your self judgement practice will be beneficial not only for you but for  everyone around you. Because you will also be able to let go of your judgement of others. You will be able to let go of mistakes of others, of heart breaks, of unkind acts. You will be lighter, you will be able to open your heart more. All this and more will come towards you because you had the opportunity to practice letting go through a difficulty: the unfulfillment at work.


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Love,

Isil

About the author 

Isil

I am a LifeWork coach, the author of the book The Gift of Being Unfulfilled at Work, the host of Unique Careers, Unique Lives podcast, and the co-founder of BeCoach Academy. Learn more on isiluysal.com

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